Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.
i am moving to blogger, because livejournal is being mean and won't let me show you any more pictures of myself, which is why you're all here anyway, right? my new address is http://figgles.blogspot.com so come check it out!
massah got this new toy for us last night. it's a GENERIC cuz, so i was slightly wary, but once you see this video you'll see why it's now one of my favorites. (you need to turn the volume ALL THE WAY UP to fully appreciate the goodness.)
i uploaded it to youtube now, so you should be able to see it....
we must not tell massah what i am about to show you here. it is TOP SECRET. first i look at massah-in-law with overwhelming love in my eyes (massah calls it "overwhelming begging" when i do it to her - she doesn't understand).
and then she lets me have a lick.
and then another lick.
and THEN she GIVES ME SOME of her iced coffee!
i realize this is not as spectacularly impressive as some of the other cuisine i've seen on the blogs, but for me this is HEAVEN!
oh NO!!! i just got a message saying there isn't enough space on here for me to show you all my pictures!!! i'm off to figure out how to fix that. i'll try to be back soon.
i like it over here. while IT sleeps on people's laps, i watch and wait....
can you see what's in her hand?!
it's THE CUZ!!!
i also keep watch out the windows. right out that window you can see the house next door and they have MOOSE (a golden retriever) and sometimes a lab that i have to bark at whenever they head out to go to the bathroom.
oh look, IT's snuggling again... jeesh. i must shove the cuz in there.
TOMORROW i'll show you things that only happen HERE AT THIS HOUSE!!! massah NEVER gives us ANYTHING, but that sneaky massah-in-law find ways to pamper and spoil us! but for now i'm pretty tired so i'm going to take a nap.
shout-out to my boy balboa!!! i'm dreaming of YOU!!!
so i'm still pretty sad about sadie. but when she passed away, it left a gaping hole in the "alpha dog" status here in this house (we're living with massah's parents until we get our own place - what a GREAT thing that is!). of course, it is my responsibility to step into the boss position. heaven forbid IT be allowed to have any kind of authority - we'd all end up eating poo and snuggling all day long, ugh. it's pretty hard work... i have to sleep in the exact same position that sadie slept in at night, i have to get up at the same exact time sadie got up (5-30 in the morning!!) i have to follow motch around exactly like sadie did... it's just never ending! it exhausts me.
one good thing, though. massah took IT to the dog park this weekend. i am not allowed to go because i am not nice to the other dogs. like i care. anyway, while IT was isolating himself (he wouldn't play with the other dogs - he just wandered around the perimiter of the fence - HA!) i was lounging around the house like an only dog. fabulous. and on top of that, LOOK WHAT MOTCH GAVE TO ME!
ahhhh.... i haven't had a nice big bone in an LOOOOOOONG time. what a great day.
two sad people trying to be happy.
i do NOT like to cuddle, but i let massah-in-law hold me. because it made her smile.
and then i had enough.
time to close my eyes and ruin all the picures.
it's weird without sadie. massah didn't really think i'd notice too much, but i do. ever since i was a puppy, sadie has been at the house - i've never been in the house without her. and then they came home monday night without her.... i could smell her on massah-in-law, and i could see her collar that they were holding. but she wasn't around. and then they buried something that smelled an AWFUL lot like sadie. that's how i figured it out. and it's just hitting me that she's really gone. i was very sad yesterday; i didn't want to play or give a lot of kisses or even go outside. i just sat around. and last night i just had to get out of bed in the middle of the night, because it wasn't the same without sadie stepping on me and rolling on top of my body. motch though i was going to be sick, and i kinda was. not the throwing-up kind of sick, though... the missing-sadie-stomach-ache kind of sick. and everyone is really sad too... they cry a lot. and that makes me even more sad. granted, i am not the most sympathetic and caring dog, but sadie was special. she was the ONLY dog i liked. i loved her. i slept beside her lots and lots. she was never mean to me. she let me bite her long curly ears when i was a puppy. she never snapped back. she stepped on me a lot, but that was only because she was old and couldn't see me. sometimes i yelled at her when she walked on me, and i feel bad about that now. i know it wasn't her fault. i think she kinda loved me too, in her own way. i admit i was REALLY annoying as a young pup, so just the fact that she NEVER got mad at me is a testiment to her affection towards me. i loved her much more than she loved me, and if i could go back and change anything in my life, i would make sure she knew that. but somehow, i think she did. she was smarter than she let on, especially about how people were feeling. i'm pretty sure she knew how much everyone loved her, even including me.
she's buried in the back now. i'm going to respect her grave and never pee on it. i'll even keep IT away from her, because he's starting to pee on EVERYTHING with his leg lifted. i'll be sure love her now, even if i didn't show her how much i loved her while she was alive.
in time i'm sure i'll be able to sleep without thinking of her and missing her warm body. i'll be able to run around and not look for her lying on the floor. i'll be able to eat without thinking of stealing some of her food. i'll be able to go outside without waiting for her to finish her business so we could come inside together. but right now it's still hard. i miss her more than massah and everyone else thinks i do.
my friend sadie has gone to heaven.
she's up there now, stalking bunnies (who always seemed to get away)....
everyone is going to love her up there - i hope the angels don't fight over who get to sleep by her until we get up there.
i was always kinda jealous of her long nose. mine's pretty squashed up.
i hope they have a hamburger up there for her. she loved her hammy.
see you again, some day!
so massah has been packing, getting ready for our move this weekend. and guess what that blasted woman found.
yes. that bloody jersey that is TOO SMALL for me now.
can you tell i'm not happy? i hid that thing pretty well in the back of her closet. i never thought she'd find it behind all the junk in there. apparently "packing" involves taking everything out of the closet, and hence the jersey.
yes, that is a roll of fat on my neck where the jersey is cutting into my trachea or whatever it is that you breath out of. i thought i was dying of suffocation.
i made sure not to let her get any good pictures. now, i LOVE the cubs, and they're even beating the cardinals right now (sorry bruin), but if she's going to make me wear one of these things she needs to get one in the right size. i look like the fat doofus wearing this.
SHERMAN!!!!! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS !!!!! I SWEAR!!!!!
nothing exciting is happening over here. like a lot of other doggins i've noticed, massah is buried in some book about hairy potty. whatever. i'm kinda hairy and i go potty a lot - aren't i enough? anyway, she's been reading that, and i've been doing this:
my chin is better, though. the next day after i wrote about it, the black thing evidently fell off - when massah got home it was no where to be seen and i was bleeding a little bit.
we don't know what it was, but it's gone now and i just have a little scab that's getting smaller every day. *shrug*
massah's time is running out on the moving... this is our latest PAMU:
she actually has more than that done, but not much. this is the last week - the moving van is coming on saturday - so she needs to get going. i've noticed that she hasn't packed any of OUR stuff yet... she better not forget all my cuz. or my food. but in all the hubub... maybe she'll forget IT?
strange little animal.
I'm happy - can you believe it?!
IT got a present from ITs BFF. *sigh* I just wanted to look at it. But I got shoo'd away.
I wasn't allowed to play with any of ITs toys. I had to stand and watch.
Okay, I DID get something - it's a STUFFIE! I LOVE stuffies!
This MUST have been Sherman's idea to put something in there for ME! THANK YOU SHERMAN!!! I like him; I think we understand each other. He likes stuffies too.
Speaking of SHERMAN - I saw him last night! Look!
He was in the truck ahead of me on the road! Look - he was barking at me! He was saying "ENJOY YOUR STUFFIE, BEAUTIFUL, SMART FIG!"
Why THANK YOU, I certainly will!
there is something wrong with me.
see that black spot under my chin? if you click on the pictures they will get bigger....
at first massah thought it was a tick but she couldn't get it off, so now she isn't sure. we're going to PA's tomorrow and he's going to check and see if it's really a tick and massah is just incredibly ignorant, or if it's something else. at first massah thought it was just a scratch from playing with IT, but when she looked at it last night she saw that it definitely is NOT a scratch and is NOT from playing with IT and now she's worried. she thinks it's been there a couple weeks, but it's getting bigger and the outside edge is getting redder. i've also been whining and crying (HER words) a lot the last couple weeks, and she wonders if that's related to this thing under my chin. i have no idea, but i hope i'm not dying.
There is nothing going on here. This is what I've been doing the past few days. It's so booooooring.
Oh, our PAMU:
That is the "box corner" and as you can see, there are only 4 boxes there. Massah keeps telling me, "there's more to packing than just putting things in boxes - I've been doing a lot of cleaning up!" but I think that's just an excuse for her lack of progress. And it's also bugging me because those boxes are smack dab in the middle of my rece track that I use for chasing IT. They slow me down and I don't like it. I think she should move them, because everything revolves around me and my wishes, no matter what Massah may say otherwise.
whoa - i got a present this weekend! look at me investigating it!
it's from sophie, who is coco's oder sister who was run out of the house when coco came to live there and is now forced to live in the closet. poor girl. my heart bleeds for her. but she obviously understands what i'm going through, because she wrote me a note saying she felt that i needed a present because IT was taking all the attention with ITs hurt toes. *rolls eyes*
oh my goodness what is it?! a ROPE TOY! i'm unwrapping it here:
i haven't had one of these in a while! massah caught me mid-shake in this picture!
we played tug for a while (just like the olden days when IT wasn't here)! look how mean i look!
i also enjoyed some of the paper wrapping it came in - yummy. hee!
thanks, sophie! you're cool, even though i don't think i've ever met you because you always run away from me! THANK YOU!
i have been tagged by sherman, penny and the-one-who-is-"best-friends-forever"-wi
i was smiling there because i had just stolen ITs toy. that's always fun. there's also this one:
i was smiling there because i was in the car ALONE with massah - IT wasn't there! and i also might have found the bag of garbage and helped myself, but i'm not admitting to that. it's just a possibility.
i'm dreaming of balboa in that one. that lovely, lovely boy of mine.... ahem.
i got to eat dirt all day long that day... that would bring a smile to the face of ANYONE! and a couple more:
those were before IT was a part of my life. look how happy i was.... those were the good old days. *sigh* the golden oldies.
massah left me out all night last night when she was gone. IT was shrieking away in ITs jail - luckily i wasn't banished to mine. IT kept yelling about "my toes!" but i thought IT was saying "ice cold!" and i said: of course you're "ice cold" you weirdo, you don't have any hair! turns out IT got some thread wrapped around his foot. whatever. i was busy keeping the house safe. this is where i scared the toy poodle away from our window.
massah, strangely enough, wasn't too pleased when she got back and saw it. hmmm.... and i also spent a lot of time upstairs. she saw this when she went into the bathroom.
she kept asking me why i would go into the bathroom and knock ITs shampoo into the bathtub and rearrange everything in there. i didn't tell her. it's my secret. and now for our PAMU (Packing And Moving Update):
that's right. nothing. she was too freaked out over ITs toes. blah. excuses, excuses....
i can see similarities between my life and mr. joseph stains - strange younger brothers, the yearning for peace and quiet, and the obviously inferior intelligence that have to put up with from the rest of the world. and another one to add to the list: better food because of our brothers.
granted, it's not presented to me as nicely as joe's mom lays out his food, but still - it's a heck of a lot better than what i've been eating.
it's wonderously fabulous!
and on top of THAT, look at what wonder ruby gave me! woot!
i think every girl blogger has been given one, but if you have NOT, consider it "passed on" to you! and now for our packing and moving update (or PAMU for short):
yep. two boxes. and you can see how pleased she was with herself (in the mirror). *shaking head*
i mentioned yesterday that we're going to be moving. tis true. the end of this month will see us trudging out of this house with all our belongings. *sigh*
i have decided to do a daily update on massah's packing progress. this is specifically for motch's benefit - so that she won't come over to help us move and find NOTHING packed away and have to do all of it herself. you're welcome, motch. first up, last night's progress:
yes. i kow what you're thinking. and you're right. that's PATHETIC. but she was absurdly proud of herself, not only for finding boxes, but also for getting them down and into our apartment (you should have seen her huffing and puffing and sweating like a hog trying to carry them down all those stairs). and she also bought packing tape and a sharpie marker because she thinks she's going to be organized enough to not only pack things grouped by rooms, but also lable them correctly. bah.
high hopes will be dashed as the moving date gets closer and closer and she starts randomly throwing things in any box she can reach. this is how impressed i was:
it is my MASSAH-IN-LAW'S birthday today!!!!! i want to wish her a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! this is a picture of me with massah and massah-in-law.
and here is a picture of her looking very special.
and this one is from a VERY long time ago....
and she didn't know massah was making a movie here. she thought she was just taking a picture. i always look at this when i'm feeling sad. you'll know why after you watch it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MASSAH-IN-LAW!!!!! i love you!
well, we are moving. massah is going to start packing tonight (or so she says... ha!). i'm kinda sad, because i like our house. if you haven't noticed, every single one of our pictures have the same background, and that is because we only have 2 rooms - one downstairs and one upstairs. here is our downstairs:
that is where we spend all our time, unless we are sleeping. we do our sleeping upstairs. this is the only picture i found of our upstairs - and it's me sleeping.
i've heard whisperings that we will be living with motch until our new house is ready.... that will be interesting if that's true. sadie lives there, and she's VERY old.
i think she's 429 years old, but i can never remember for sure. anyway, she gets very stressed out when we come and visit since she can't really see or hear. she's just going about her day, and all of a sudden we're landing on her and stuff, and that makes her have diarrhea (not the landing on her, but the stress of never knowing WHEN we're going to land on her) so i don't know how this is going to work out. i love her - don't get me wrong - but i don't think she particularly loves us, if you know what i mean.... maybe our new house will have a fenced-in yard. that would be nice.
something wonderful happened last night, but before i get to that i need to answer a question from toby. he is a cool little dude and he asked where IT got his name. well, let me tell you, tobes. when massah first brought IT home, i wasn't quite sure what IT was. he CERTAINLY didn't look like a dog, but i wasn't familiar with any other living species that looked even remotely like IT. i had a few guesses - like a mutant snake that grew legs, a teacup miniature horse or something, or (my favorite) an albino rodent with a skin disorder resulting in baldness. massah was insistant upon the fact that IT was none of those. and i know IT went through a personal crisis and asked all his friends if he was a cat or dog or some other organism, and everyone convinced him that he was a dog, but i'm still not sure. and massah keeps telling me IT has a name, but i don't really like IT and so i'm not going to call IT by any name other than IT. so IT will always be "IT" to me. and now on to the something wonderful! look!
it has my name on it, and it was all for ME! this is me enjoying my stuffie:
massah kept watching me, so i kept my eye on her so she wouldn't steal my toy away from me. she does that sometimes, especially when i get close to total destruction.
she finally looked away, so i jumped to the floor and went for the GUT!
look at my awesome job!
thank you so much, luckie! i had a wonderful 10 minutes with it! and don't worry - it won't go to waste now. IT likes to suck on gutted stuffies, so IT'll enjoy it from now on.
our feature presentation: "How Not To Brush Your Dog's Teeth" by Massah. (please excuse the terrible videography - she blames it on holding one dog, trying to brush a dog's teeth, fending off a little naked chinese man, and attempting to film at the same time. but the truth is that she's just not very coordinated.)
she tried the finger tooth brush, as you can see. she always complains because we don't cooperate with the tooth brushing proceedure so she thought the little ones might work better. i say, GO FOR IT - those tiny little red things will sure be a whole lot easier to swallow than the big long tooth brushes.
my perfectly gorgeous balboa tagged me to share all about massah. IT did a ridiculous interview with her that you can read here if you want, so i will share 10 other things about her.
1) she has two tattoos and two piercings (besides her multiple ear piercings) that she credits to boredom in college
2) she weighs more now than she ever has in her whole life
3) she has more pictures of me up in her office than she has of IT (tells you something, doesn't it?)
4) she ate a snickers candy bar and a diet coke for lunch the other day (see #2)
5) she likes to read shakespeare
6) she spends WAAAAAAAAAY too much money on purses and sunglasses
7) she never, EVER answers her phone at home - i'm not sure why she pays $40 a month to listen to it ring - and she won't even get an answering machine... strange
8) she's going to marry wentworth miller, as soon as he meets her and falls in love with her irresistable personality and beautiful looks (never mind #2)
9) her sister and her mom are her BFFs
10) she has over 100 pairs of panties from victoria's secret that i strive gallantly to chew each day
she really is quite the world's boringest person. but she feeds me and buys me toys, so i like her. and sometimes i love her. here is a picture of me NOT loving her, or even particularly liking her, on this day.
i think i may be reverting back to my puppyhood. and that makes massah VERY VERY nervous. all i do is play with toys and chew on bones (not the real ones - like we would have any of THOSE around here... just the nylabones) and ruin things. i haven't done this for many years. one of the multitudes of things i've been chewing on is the chuck-a-duck that my boyfriend sent to IT. i like it.
and last night massah came home from shopping and took us out, as usual. as most of you know, i always take my sweatshirt outside with me. but this time when massah looked over, she didn't see my sweatshirt. what did she see?
how can i say this tactfully...? a feminine hygeine product. i tore open the package and helped myself. hey, i'm a girl too. there's no discrimination just because i had a hysterectomy.
but i was nice and brought it back inside with me.
and THEN i found a magazine she had.
i tore that up too.
it's all crap in there anyway.
i'm in my second puppyhood. or experiencing a mid-life crisis. either way, i'm enjoying myself.
Mood: lots to do....